“MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T DRIVE…
I hate driving. In fact, I firmly believe that some people should never be allowed to drive. Totaling three vehicles will do that to a man. And, with that kind of track record, who could blame me? You’d think with the line of wreckage in my rearview mirror; people would fight to keep me from ever being behind the wheel. You would be wrong.
In my family (Me + Gabbi + Our three monsters), if there is driving to be done, I’m typically the one to do it. My wife uses it as a regular opportunity to grow her faith in God’s sovereignty and “coach” her amateur driver of a husband.
I use the term “coach” loosely (notice the quotation marks). I believe the proper term for what she does is more akin to heckling. And it usually goes as follows:
“They’re braking! Their lights are red!”
“Could you drive any slower?”
“Why did you take this road? (Insert her route of preference here) is so much faster.”
These are almost always followed by an eye roll from me, and once the perceived danger is passed, I reply, “Would you like to drive?” An offer she almost always turns down.
This past Sunday, I was driving us to church, the speed limit was 70 mph, and at this particular point in our journey to Williamsburg, I was maybe going 60 mph. In my defense, I was tired, it was early, and did I mention I’ve totaled three cars? That day my driving coach didn’t care. My peaceful Sunday morning drive was interrupted with an unexpired, “Dear lord man, how slow are you going?”
I asked if she’d like to drive and got a very cold “no.” A few awkward moments passed, and I decided I would press the issue a little bit more.
“You’re always complaining about my driving. If you feel that way, you should drive more.” — Me
Yeah. I said it. And as always, the wife was ready with a comeback.
“That’s not true. Your mind is wired to remember the negative over the positive, so it just feels that way.”
Conversation over. Because, what do you say back to that? According to Laura Carstensen, a psychology professor at Stanford University, it's a well-documented phenomenon. She even says, “Many… think that this has evolutionary roots; that is: It’s more important for people, for survival, to notice the lion in the brush than it is to notice the beautiful flower that’s growing on the other side of the way.”
So, touché Gabbi. Touché.
Now, what she (my wife) said is only half true. She does complain about my driving nearly every time she’s in the car with me. But she was right on the other count. Our minds gravitate towards the negative.
I think that’s why in his farewell speech to the Hebrews (the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy), Moses had this to say to the people:
“When the Lord your God brings you into the land he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you—a land with large, flourishing cities you did not build, houses filled with all kinds of good things you did not provide, wells you did not dig, and vineyards and olive groves you did not plant—then when you eat and are satisfied, be careful that you do not forget the Lord, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” — Deuteronomy 6:10-12, NIV
Moses had spent a lot of time with them(they went on a long hike and got lost in the wilderness for a while), and they, like all people, tended to forget the good things God had done for them and fixate on the negative.
For them, Moses was also worried that once they got into the promised land and began enjoying the benefits of it, they would get busy and forget where God brought them from and in the process, abort any semblance of gratitude.
Whether it's pruning the good from the memory databanks or getting so busy and preoccupied you forget to be grateful, both paths lead us to a life That is less than God's best.
So wherever you may be on your faith journey, remember God's past faithfulness, remember the myriad of ways he has blessed you, and know that he is not done yet. The God Who was faithful then is faithful today and promises to finish all that he started!